BEST OF DEAR ABBY QUESTIONS: Right After Divorce, Mom Is Out Partying
Sometimes, Abby gets some serious questions that we don't know how we would ever handle. Thankfully, she always has the answers.
Imagine this one.
My mom recently separated from her husband. They're in the process of getting divorced, and she is already talking to another man. She has known him since high school, but they only recently reconnected again.
Last night they finally decided to go out. She says they're "just friends," but she got home at 5:30 a.m., wasted. She woke me 30 minutes before work, then passed out in my bed.
I think she's moving way too fast. She isn't a teenager anymore, let alone divorced. Am I wrong for being upset with her? Or should I support her?
I don't know how old your mother is or how long she has been married to the man she's divorcing, but if she has been out of the dating scene for any length of time, you need to talk calmly with her and not appear judgmental.
I'm concerned because she may have had unprotected sexual contact with a person she hasn't seen since high school, and a lot could have happened in his life since then. She should not be intimate with anyone unless she knows his sexual history and that he can't give her an STD.
Sometimes older adults forget that the same rules that apply to younger adults apply to them, too. So, rather than judge your mother, do discuss this with her without letting it degenerate into an argument. If you approach it this way, she may listen.