Cap’n Crunch Isn’t REALLY A Captain! (???)
This is crunching.
All this time I thought I was having breakfast with a real captain. But as it turns out, Cap’n Crunch isn’t a captain…he’s actually a commander.
Ya see, Mr. Crunch only has three stripes on his sleeves, meaning he’s a commander in the U.S. Navy. Four stripes means you’re a captain.
However, if the Crunch was modeled after the FRENCH Naval Captain — the capitaine de fregate — then yes, he’s a captain, as they only require three stripes.
But why would that roof-of-the-mouth-destroyer be French? Makes no sense.
And ruins the rest of my Americanized morning.