5.Claims she's related to Jenny Craig, but looks suspiciously like *Larry* Craig.

4.He uses a cheeseburger as a bookmark in the training manual.

3.Makes a beeping noise like a truck backing up every time you walk across the room.

2. Gets winded unwrapping his cigarettes.

1. The Number 1 Sign You've Hired the Wrong Fitness Coach... Today's workout: You push him and his out-of-gas car around town so he can run errands.