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‘Dancing with the Stars’ Season 14 Week 2 Recap – Martina Slips, Katherine Shines

katherine-mark
ABC

After last week’s revelation that none of this season’s performers on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ are mock-worthy, about all we can do now is cheer for our favorites (or, for the snarkier among us, at least hope someone has an off-week).

Host Tom Bergeron reminded us that we were LIIIIVE, and Brooke Burke-Charvet was wearing a glittery yellow ballgown with a strategic cut-out that essentially shouted HEY YOU! LOOK AT MY BOOBS! ARE YOU LOOKING? I SAID LOOK!

And of course judges Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman, and Bruno Tonioli were in place.

So off we go!

Roshon Fegan and Chelsie Hightower
Score: 26 out of 30 (9/8/9)

We were reminded that Disney star Roshon has a hip-hop dance background and that it’s not translating terribly well to his rehearsals. So Chelsie tried to get a little street to relate to him, resulting only in proving she’s the whitest girl in the history of ever. The judges’ comments included “young and fresh,” “delicious” and “elegant.”

Sherri Shepherd and Val Chmerkovskiy
Score: 23 out of 30 (8/7/8)

Sherri’s unbridled joy is back, but the jive did its best to suck it right out of her. But she got a great song — ‘Proud Mary’ — and wore a 1960s Tina Turner gold fringed dress, which sure seemed to put the pep back in her step. Carrie Ann declared herself “in love” with Sherri and said even though she forgot some steps, her confidence made up for it.

Melissa Gilbert and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Score: 20 out of 30 (7/6/7)

The erstwhile half-pint from ‘Little House’ said they’d be dancing to Billy Idol, whom she then revealed she dated back in the 1980s (yay! dish!). Maybe that’s where she got the idea for those tattoos we were so surprised to see on her last week. Her quickstep was lively but she missed a few steps, and while Len said she lost her energy mid-way through and it made her too “loose,” Bruno said if she’d stop thinking about the steps so hard, she’d be better off.

Jack Wagner and Anna Trebunskaya
Score: 21 out of 30 (7/7/7)

Perfectionist Jack wasn’t happy with two 8s from last week, so Anna worked him even harder (hey, he asked for it). Their jive was high-energy — almost too much so. The judges said it was very good but he “over-danced it,” which meant he “wasn’t quite on the beat” in a couple spots. Their scores reflected that, and showed maybe he should’ve been happy with those 8s after all.

Gladys Knight and Tristan MacManus
Score: 19 out of 30 (7/5/7)

At 67 years old, the legendary singer is the oldest person in the competition, but who cares? It’s freakin’ Gladys Knight, people! During rehearsals she said she’s glad the competition is so strong this year because, after all, she’s performed with James Brown and Otis Redding — so “bring it.” After her quickstep, the judges complemented her “natural feel for the music” and how light she is on her feet, but said her frame needs work. And deserved or not, Len was roundly booed for the low score he gave the pair.

Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas
Score: 26 out of 30 (9/8/9)

Katherine, the adorable UK opera singer, shyly giggled as she said Mark wanted her to “shake her naughty bits” during rehearsal, but all that bit-shaking paid off in their super-fast casino-themed jive. Holy crap, this girl is good. We just hope being relatively unknown here in the US won’t cost her with voters. The judges adored her, with Bruno declaring, “The blonde bombshell is unleashed!” but Len called the middle section “a bit wobbly.”

Jaleel White and Kym Johnson
Score: 22 out of 30 (7/7/8)

Jaleel, who’s already proved Steve Urkel is all grown up and smokin’ hot, did a jive to Bruno Mars’ ‘Marry You.’ After blowing everyone away in his last dance, this week was a bit of a let-down. It wasn’t awful or anything, but it certainly paled in comparison. Len said it “lacked real attack and speed,” and Carrie Ann said he was “a bit flat-footed.”

Maria Menounos and Derek Hough
Score: 25 out of 30 (8/8/9)

Maria and her irritating laugh are back, but with a woman that gorgeous, we’re just comforted she has such a glaring flaw. She strained a rib during rehearsals, but there didn’t seem to be any evidence of that in her Bonnie and Clyde-themed quickstep. Bruno gave her a smooch and said even though there was a spot she slightly flubbed in the middle, she has a “frame you can frame” and it was “near perfection.”

Martina Navratilova and Tony Dovolani
Score: 17 out of 30 (6/5/6)

Living legend Martina was tied at the bottom of the leaderboard last week, and for a balls-to-the-wall competitor like her, that simply won’t do. And then … oh dear. She completely lost her way in the beginning and it understandably rattled her so much (despite the smile on her face) that she never really got back on track. The judges didn’t gloss over the mess — Bruno said she “served it into the net” — but they were also pretty gentle because she already knew she’d screwed up so royally.

Donald Driver and Peta Murgatoyd
Score: 24 out of 30 (8/8/8)

Peta threw some pretty harsh choreography at the NFL star, but after some initial grumbling in rehearsals, he seemed to get the hang of it. And just like his underscored routine from last week, he did a beautiful job. The judges all loved it — Len said it was “among the best I’ve seen tonight,” and even apologized for the low score he’d given Donald the week before, saying when he watched the show again, he realized he’d made a mistake. And then the four horsemen of the apocalypse rode in and carried everyone away, because Len never apologizes for anything ever.

Gavin DeGraw and Karina Smirnoff
Score: 21 out of 30 (7/7/7)

Karina kicked Gavin’s backside during rehearsals for their jive, and he again wore yet another hat (seriously, is he hiding a family of gnomes under there or what?). For the second week in a row, we expected him to be awful and he just … wasn’t. It wasn’t award-winning or anything but it’s clear he’s improving. The judges said his “posture was a little funky” and some of his kicks were off, but they complimented him for obviously pushing past the limits of his comfort zone.

William Levy and Cheryl Burke
Score: 25 out of 30 (9/7/9)

Mrowr. Once again, they saved the muy caliente! for last. Mexico’s answer to Brad Pitt was unfortunately wearing a lot more clothing than last week (boo!), but it didn’t seem to matter — the girls in the ballroom screamed during the dance and well after. Len said it “lacked body contact” and was “good, not great,” but a swooning Bruno called it “superb” anyway.

And there you have it. See you for the elimination show Tuesday night.

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