Jerry Sandusky — Abuser And Victim?
I know…the headline of this blog seems offensive. How is Sandusky possibly a victim in this scenario?
First, let me say that I have people in my life that have survived childhood sexual abuse. These people are the most courageous amazing people I know and I have been priveledged to have them talk to me about what happened to them.
What I have a hard time with is the fact that many abusers were once victims themselves and it somehow manifested itself by looking for others to victimize. This often happens with other forms of abuse as well. A Father beats his son, the son beats HIS son and so on…the cycle continues.
There is no question at all that Sandusky is a monster, grooming his victims for years, putting himself in the perfect position to be in contact with young boys and taking full advantage of it. But I wonder when he finally, if ever, admits he did do these horrific things, will we find out that he is part of the cycle…that he was also abused as a child? Now PLEASE don’t get me wrong. This is NOT a blog defending the “Abuse excuse”…anything but. This is really a plea to everyone in humanity to SPEAK UP. If you think you suspect someone of abuse you MUST SAY SOMETHING. If Sandusky WAS abused as a child it was YEARS ago when NO ONE spoke about it…it was swept under the rug. And now this…pain and suffering.
I think of my dear friend Lucy who was sexually abused as a young girl. Thank god for her family who got her help immediately. Today she is a doctor who helps other victims of abuse. I am proud to call this amazing woman my friend.
I also think of my friend Sue who I met when I lived in Colorado. She is also a survivor who is married with a young child. Her issues were also dealt with immediately but I remember when she had first given birth to her first child she started having flashbacks. She would be changing her daughters diaper when she would flash back to the abuse and suddenly have the thought to hurt her daughter…it HORRIFIED HER. She never did it- but the vision of doing something to her baby made her get help again and today she is living as best she can.
That’s all the victims can do…live as best they can. What WE can do is TALK ABOUT IT!! Silence is the partner of evil-and as we see from the Sandusky trial, silence can go on for YEARS…let’s make sure no one is ever silent again.