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Laura’s Bad Date — A Cautionary Tale

If you’re in the dating world, you know it can…well, STINK. Especially after about age 30, maybe 35…the pickin’s get slimmer and the weirdos get weirder.

To save some of my female readers, this one goes out to the MEN. Guys, don’t do what this guy did. Ladies, if a guy does, just expect this is your first AND last date with him.

The guy was very attractive. Very nice physique. I know because his “first date” shirt he chose was one that typically has the word “beater” associated with it. Still, keeping an open mind…

Here’s how my blind date on Saturday began:

All men just want younger chicks.”

Really? THAT’S how we’re gonna go into this thing? (Me: “Oh, waitress? On second thought, I WILL have a beer, please.”)

He went on to tell me a WOMAN told him this once, to which I responded that she must’ve been a bit “scorned” because I didn’t think it was fair to pigeonhole all men into this caveman mentality. Then he, in what I can only assume was a feeble attempt at humor,  said, “That’s what most old women say.” (Note: He’s nine months older than me and ordered a chicken finger meal plate. I digress.)

Then he went on to talk about money (a LOT), how his ex-wife wanted more of it, how he didn’t have much of it, back to how nutso his ex-wife got, and then launched into a 45-minute diatribe about how AMAZING his business was. At that point, I gained a bit of interest (open mind), as it’s nice to hear someone proud of their hard work. I was trying to find a glimmer of a silver lining. It was quickly diminished to a light-grey glow….He spoke about himself another 30 minutes, and when all was said and done, he asked me ONE question about me: “So what’s your dog’s name?”

The bill came, and of course I offered to go Dutch. He tossed a couple twenties on the table, and said, “You can leave the tip. I mean, for Christ’s sake, it’s only $32.” So I dug in my purse for $10…Hey if I was having a bad date, at least our sweet waitress should get a more-than-20-percent tip.

The waitress came to pick up the bill, asked, “Do you need change?” He says yes. She returns, we get up to leave, and I notice he left $6. The dude MADE MONEY off me on the date.

Needless to say, I won’t be going out with this guy again. I wish him all the best, of course. But if there’s any lesson to learn here, it’s for you dating men: Don’t start off complaining about money and your ex, talk about yourself for two hours, and then end the date by makin’ a few bucks off it.

And ask her about more than her dog. She may actually have other things that are actually INTERESTING to talk about. Oh, and you may want to consider sleeves for your outfit.

PS: The silver lining was, after I left this date, I stopped by a local restaurant near me in NT…and met some REALLY fun, great people and ended up having a super fun time. All’s well that ends well. :)

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