First came the buzzworthy breakout of Lifetime’s “Unauthorized” Saved By the Bell biopic, then follows the horror of a Full House behind the scenes exposé, then comes the next piece of ‘90s nostalgia to chum Lifetime’s feeding frenzy. Beverly Hills, 90210 fans, prepare yourselves for the horrifically-cast “Unauthorized” movie you never knew you never wanted.

Oh yes, Lifetime’s crack at The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story will follow “the roller coaster ride of the program’s first four seasons, highlighting the drama between cast members and producers both on and off-set,” chronicling everything from near-cancellations to “massive success and imprint in the cultural zeitgeist.” Somehow, a CW epilogue doesn’t seem terribly likely.

Given that Lifetime’s unauthorized Full House story won’t air until late August, no 90210 cast have yet been set to fill the roles of such stars as Luke Perry, Tori Spelling, Shannen Doherty, Ian Ziering, Jason Priestley, Jennie Garth or Brian Austin Green. Still, The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story has set Peter M. Green (Mean Girls 2) and Howard Braunstein (Aaliyah: The Princess of R&B) to executive produce, from a script written by Jeff Roda and directed by Vanessa Parise.

It surely won’t be long before Lifetime goes on a weekend bender and orders an unauthorized Party of Five movie, so what other staples of ‘90s TV can the network jury-rig into its next beautiful disaster?

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