Lost And Living A Lie — Delilah’s Dilemma
One of the biggest mistakes people can make is to create a lie.
Delilah shares a dilemma from one of her loyal listeners that shows how creating a lie could ruin a good thing.
I was hoping you could help me with my problem. About a year ago I lied to someone at school about my identity; this went on for about a week, and I fell in love with him over the time that we talked. I felt so connected with him, but later on I told him who I was, and he told me to leave him alone, and he now pretends that I don't exist. The reason I did it was because I wanted him to like me for who I was inside and not for my appearance, because I knew he would've never talked to me if he knew who I was. I did try to apologize for what I did to him, but he didn't seem to care. I am willing to fix what I did so he will trust me again. Could you please give some advice on what I should do? Sincerely, Lost and Confused
Dear Lost and Confused,
Hopefully you learned some very valuable lessons here: First, lying is not good. Not right. And as "right" as it might feel at the time, that lie is going to be something that causes you heartache and pain, and others as well. Secondly, why in the world would you pursue someone who you know is so shallow they would not like the real you? And finally, do not try to make someone feel something they do not. If he wanted to be involved with you, he would be. He doesn't even talk to you so do not try to change that. Just walk away and resolve to not play games with people in the future. Just be who you are...
I could pay someone a lot of money to Photoshop my pictures that I post online. I could make myself look very thin or very young; I could erase the wrinkles from my face and my hands...but that isn't who I am and even if my listeners "liked" me more if I were skinny, young, thin, gorgeous, it wouldn't be real. I have lived more than half a century and I have plenty of scars from my life's journey. As my producer/best friend Janey said the other night when I was complaining about a huge scar I have from a surgery, "We won't hide our scars...they are a record of the battles we have fought in this lifetime."
I am who I am. I am not perfect. I wear glasses now because I can no longer see to read. I don't have a supermodel figure and my teeth are mine, not veneers to make my smile look perfect. Don't get me wrong, I love feeling beautiful and putting my make up on and doing my hair so it looks better, but I realize that beauty is only skin deep, and who I am INSIDE is what matters.
You claim you were trying to get someone to like you for who you are on the inside but you were not being true to yourself, because who you are inside is not really a liar or a game player. So make a resolution to have real relationships, and be authentic in them. If someone wants to know you and like you, they will want to know all of you, mind, body and mostly soul...God bless you, Delilah
Have YOU ever been caught in a lie? Comment below!
Rachel Specht contributed to this post