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Love Is Not Yet Lost — Delilah’s Dilemma


Mourning the loss of the love of your life tends to be one of the hardest things to face in life.

However, finding love after the fact tends to be just as hard of a thing to deal with.

Dear Delilah,

Seven years ago I lost the love of my life to cancer at the young age of 57. Two months ago I rekindled a friendship with an old classmate. He’s the best thing to happen to me since I lost my husband. Problem is he lost his wife only five months ago, and his daughters found out how we feel. I know how they are hurting. They got upset with their dad and told him it was too soon and that people would talk. This is my question: Is there a time-frame before it is appropriate to start dating again? He was married 42 years and I was married 37. We were good to our spouses to the end. In our small town it seems to be at least a year of grieving is expected or you get talked about. We both care for each very much and don’t want to hurt anyone, but at the same time we don’t want to stop seeing each other. Sincerely, Kathy

Dear Kathy,

When someone’s spirit goes onto eternity and they are no longer here, there is this notion that it is somehow disrespectful to them if their spouse finds love again. In my opinion, I think that’s ridiculous. In fact, I think nothing could show more respect to his deceased wife than for him to honor their good marriage and the joy he felt with her, and share his heart with another good person. It’s one thing if he jumps into a relationship because he’s desperate and a dog, but if he were those things, he wouldn’t have been happily married for 42 years. I know people who found love shortly after their significant others passed away…and yes, they were talked about. But now years later, they’re still happily married. And it’s ridiculous that people gossip about things like that. But people are always gonna gossip. They gossip about a bad haircut! Let them talk. Give them something to talk about. Wear your lipstick a little brighter and your heels a little higher. Don’t listen to the naysayers. If this man is good to you, then wasting a single day simply because you’re “supposed” to be mourning is crazy. Life is too short. Delilah

What would YOU do in this kind of scenario? Comment below!

Read More From Delilah

Rachel Specht contributed to this post

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