I hate to be the one to break this to you, but it's December 24th!!!!! Of course, there are the 24/7 stores [but don't wait; most of them are closing early this evening]. But if fighting crowds is not in your skill set, how 'bout getting your Uncle Pat membership in a "[Thing] of the Month" Club? And since we're trying to help, we'll even set you up with clubs your family and friends will never forget. 

You may remember that "Ray Barone"'s parents went balistic when they found they'd be getting fruit every month in a classic episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. But some people welcome a mystery package each month [of course, after a month or two, they'll probably be able to guess more or less what's in the box].Looking for some interesting possibilities? How about:

-a pair of socks? Yeah, really. The Sock of the Month Club can hook up your lucky gift recipient with a pair of foot covers every 30 days [28 in February!]. Or;

-maybe a pair of fashionable women's shoes? No, they probably won't go with the socks, but they site's style consultants include Kimora Lee Simmons. You could do worse. And if your gift recipient is, shall we say, a bacon entheusiast, we've got you covered:

-a bacon-of-the-month club? But of course. Three- or six-months subscriptions are available [artery clearing is, of course, not included].

Believe it or not, I'm just scratching the surface. Click here to find out about clubs for dog toys [paying attention, Laura and Heather?], fine wines, even a club for moss collectors [and, no, I'm not making any of this up].

If none of this works for you, or your potential giftee [you being the giftor, of course], gift cards are always nice. I personally prefer Amazon. Not that you probably care...

...and a Merry Christmas to one and all!