My grandma is a big fan of the adage, "What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." These ladies got caught red-handed and did their best to back-peddle. But once the jig was up, they attacked!

But apparently, the excitement didn't stop when the camera did...

What followed was pure gold. I continued to back up as we went around the canopy frame. In the most bizarre moment she gnashed her teeth, lunging at me with an open palm and said, "I'll grab your dick!" I appreciated the offer but didn't feel the chemistry was there.

The two then said they needed to call "Pat", which may or may not have been the androgynous SNL character. He or she was going to apparently clarify what they were doing with my stuff. Lady in Red said, "We need to get a phone, but not his. His phone is tainted." They then scurried off towards the parking lot.

Good ol' New Smyrna Beach (where I vacationed this past me, the LOCALS are MUCH nicer than these apparent out-of-towners).

By the way, don't try this at our Throwback Beach Bash. There will be FAR too many eyes on you! :) WHAT?!?!?! You don't have tickets yet????