Do you ever wake up, look at the news, and say to yourself that this is the day that you've gone completely insane, or, at the very least, that most of the rest of the world has? Well, this is my red-letter day!

I realized that I'd lost my hazy grip on reality when I heard that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (hereafter CDC) had to release a statement last Thursday denying the existence of zombies.

Please re-read that last sentence.

A Government agency actually had to deny the existence of brain-eating, reanimated human corpses.

Yes, there were some horrific incidents last week that made people think about the many movies and books based on the idea of zombies [books and movies that, we should remember, were fiction]. But come on people! Have we lost the ability to tell the difference between real and made-up?

Then again, we may have lost it a long time ago. Those who are truly afraid of reanimated, brain-eating corpses can now take a weekend "survivalist" course in remaining alive during the coming "zombie apocalypse" [we all just missed one, unfortunately. But there's one coming up in September.And if you want to make sure your children can overcome the undead (and what responsible parent doesn't?), a children's course is coming up in August].

If this sounds sane to you, please explain it to me. Or, at the very least, help me schedule CDC announcements denying the existence of vampires and werewolves [there aren't any werewolves, right?]. Just seems like they deserve to be refuted as well...